Gay dating. It’s complicated. While being gay has its challenges in the current political climate, New York Times writers discovered via a number of polls, that a large majority of society (68% right now) accepts gay men and believes they have the same rights as any other citizen, just as a US Supreme Court decision declared And so, most gay guys live in relative comfort with who they are and in their pursuit of relationships.
In that pursuit of relationships, though, lots of gay guys make many dating mistakes, because they meet and date other guys who are not a fit for what they want. And it turns them into an off and on single.
So, before you take one more step in the direction of gay dating, you’ve got some work to do.
Get a Grip on Yourself
We are all inundated with what has come to be known as the iPhone generation with its dating lexicon pop culture, obsession with influencers and the famous and their social media activity, such as Insta celebrities’ posts, and the general climate of popular culture.
Step back from all of this for a few minutes and do a little self-inventory.
You are a gay man. You want meaningful connections with other gay men. But what does a meaningful connection actually mean to you?
If you have not solidified this in your own mind, you will continue to make dating mistakes.
So, you have some work to do:
- Can you state clearly for yourself what your dating goals are? There are lots of options and combinations of options, but you have to sort this out for yourself
- If you have your dating goals solidified, do you know how to go about meeting those goals? If you are just going to gay bars for local dates and hoping that the right match will come along, you are in a dream world.
Now let’s suppose your dating goals are clear in your mind. Your next job is to figure out where to go to find what you want.
Options for Building Connections You Want
You have plenty of options and should explore each of them, for sure. Here is the straight skinny on those options. Most of them are online because we live in an era of the digital boom.
Chat Rooms
These are all over the web. And you can find ones that fit the type of connection and relationship you want – a simple Google search will do it.
But here’s the thing about chat rooms. Anyone can join, and there is no verification of identities. And it is fertile ground for those up to no good, specifically to do harm to gays just looking for a few dates.
There are plenty of chat rooms for gays just looking for hookups, and there is nothing else of value in the room. There are others that focus on issues, challenges, experiences to share and other more meaningful conversation topics. These tend to be of higher quality.
Regardless of which chat rooms you join, if you ultimately meet someone you want to meetup with, there are lots of precautions you must take:
- Meet only in the daytime in a very public place
- Keep your phone on your person and on at all times
- If drinks are involved, never leave yours unattended
- arrange your own transportation to and from. NEVER get in your date’s car.
- Have a code word and a friend or relative who will call you during the date. If all is well, give the code word. If not, pretend it’s an emergency and that you must leave immediately.
Chances are, if your date is a bad guy out to do you harm, he won’t agree to this date arrangement. If so, block him and move on.
Social Media
Ah, a vital tool in today’s world. How else do we keep up with old friends and make new ones? How else can we look for an Instagram hashtag that might be an opening to gay tribes who have come together and formed their own groups just waiting for us to come on board. And if you find a special guy, there are Instagram private messages to develop an intimate connection. Same goes for all other major platforms too. These are readymade already flirtatious online communities.
Every major social media platform has groups, and those for gay guys are easily found. While these are safer than chat rooms, there are nonetheless still opportunities for the “bad boys” to get in for no good. If you should decide to meet up with anyone from a social media group, take the same precautions that you would with chat rooms.
Local Events/Organizations
This could be one of the safer avenues to gay dating, because you will meet other gay men in a public environment who are there because they want to meet like-minded gay men.
If you live in or near a metro area, here are some options:
- Speed dating events. If you haven’t heard of these, they can be kinda fun. Basically, 1/2 of the attendees stay seated at tables. The other half moves from table to table and has a quick 5-minute chat with each seated guy. At the end, both sets turn in the #’s that interested them. When there’s a match, personal info can then be shared so they can connect.
- Pride Events. Even if you have to travel a bit, these are big events with lots of opportunities to meet fellow gays. The parade, the entertainment, and the vendor booths are all lots of fun, but behind all of that are parties for specific groups. They’re not hard to find. Just ask around for what you are looking for, and you’ll find it. Of course, there will be an entry fee and other “rules,” but you’ll also make some genuine connections for future gay dating.
- Local groups. Again, if you live near a college campus or a metro area, you’ll find local LGBTQ+ organizations and groups. Join those that are a fit, consider volunteering, attend their meetings – just become active. There will be genuine gay dating communities.
Online Gay Dating Apps and Sites
This all brings us to the point of this article – the best dating app for gay males. So, is there an answer to this question? Again, it’s complicated.
There is an old saying, “What’s sauce for the goose is good for the gander.” This needs to be revised. “What’s sauce for the goose is not always good for the gander.” In other words, the best gay dating app for one man is not the best for every gay male.
You have clarified for yourself what you currently want in terms of connections and relationships with other gay males. And the online dating apps you should be looking at are those that cater to you. What we’re going to do here is get you started, giving you info on the most popular dating apps for each category of connection and relationship goals.
Let’s Talk Size of Online Dating Apps First
There are over 8,000 digital dating apps right now and more popping up every week. Like all consumer products, they are large, medium, and small and vary a lot in quality.
Tinder
Highly popular and very large (530 million have downloaded the app in 190 countries), this is the app that is responsible for the swiping feature that so many other dating apps and sites now use. About 20% fall within the LGBTQ+ population, on the full spectrum. And 7.8 million users are in the US. So, 20% of 7.8 million active users is 1.56 from the entire queer population. You may want to check to see how many gay males seek a like-minded connection.
Taimi
Taimi is an exclusively LGBTQ+ dating with 29+ million active users globally. The majority of members reside in the US, though, so there is probably a pretty large population of gay males seeking what you are. We’ll talk more about Taimi in a bit, but it might be one of the best gay dating apps for you – worth a serious look, that’s for sure.
OKCupid
Another biggie with over 30 million, with an average of 1 million using the dating app on a given day. And over 1 million users worldwide are in the LGBTQ+ community. Again, more on possible gay app later.
Adult Friend Finder
99 million members and growing. After all, dick pics and sex sell! This may be your best dating app if you are only into hookups, flings, and kink. Again, more later.
eHarmony
25 years and still going strong with 37 million users worldwide. While the site is among dating apps with an increasing number of LGBTQ+ members, it will be up to you to see if there are enough like-minded gay males for you to consider a good dating app for your use.
So, these are some of the big boys. Are there more? Absolutely. But this gives you a start. You might also want to check out Hinge, Grindr, and Feeld
Medium-Sized and Small Niche Dating Apps and Sites for Gays
These are dating apps and sites with less than 10 million users, and they come in all varieties. You may want to check some of them out as you look for the best gay dating apps for yourself.
- For the gay bear community and those who are interested in connecting with bears. It’s global.
- For gay, bi, trans, and others who identify as queer.
- Planet Romeo. Based in Germany and the Netherlands but has 500,000 US subscribers. And image obsessed app.
- Originally designed for gay males but now for the entire queer community
- Facebook Dating. Download the app and use your Facebook profile to seek the type of relationship you want.
- The League. Very strict verification process, and you must wait to be verified and approved before you can use it. Obviously, one of the safest and most secure gay dating apps.
- Interactive gay-friendly dating app that features live broadcasting.
Now You Have All We Have to Give
We have listed a ton of sites and apps that gay males should look at based on what they want in connections and relationship. You know this is an honest actual review because we happily list the pros and cons of each one.
You take it from here. Look through them, make some choices, try those out that are a fit for what you want, and get yourself out there!
Now the Answer to the Question that Prompted This
There is no single best gay male dating site or app. The best one for you is that one that meets your wants and needs, and it may be more than one.
