THUNDER BAY – LIVING – We are all, by nature, born good- No one is truly bad- No one is truly right- No one is truly wrong- Perspective forms those inner views and decisions using circumstance and experiences.
From people to places. Objects to sounds. From feeling incredibly loved to every strand of your being feeling not good enough. It all shapes our view of events, our thoughts, our actions and our reactions.
We are programmed everything- Every second of every day. When we learn from perspective we often subconsciously and consciously decide to do our best to never let others, whether they are a loved one or a stranger, feel that pain we know hurts so bad and we in turn enjoy seeing others feel truly loved and worthy as their true self, at that time- we are constantly evolving into our next true self just the same as our cells renewing cyclically every 7 years- and we want what even we don’t understand, to be accepted unconditionally. We want love.
However, when we are hurt, perspective is a hard concept to grasp (especially when all parties are feeling that same inexpressible, vulnerable pain) mostly because our inner selves just want to feel the unconditional love that we know exists – but instead of articulating those needs/desires perfectly, we tend to express them with sadness (that we all so easily hide in public) or anger and our messages or points then become clouded or lost even to ourselves in that pain and feeling of a lack of understanding which leaves an even deeper sense of pain that also lingers.
Yeah, it sucks.
What I’ve learned though, in my short 34.5 years on this planet is actually quite simple and all around us. What I’ve learned from introspection during my darkest times and being an extrovert during the lightest ones- The fundamental basic need- The root- The secret to happiness- Is Love-
To feel like our true inner selves, who we believe we are at any given moment, will be loved unconditionally, with no judgements, no anger and no hurt, by at least one person in this whole, big, scary yet amazing planet orbiting an even bigger, scarier, more amazing universe- Period- Plan and Simple- Unconditional Love.
Be it a Mom, a Grandpa, a Friend, a Spouse, a Teacher, a Coach or a Child.
We just need that one person to believe in us and to love us no matter what. Someone that never makes you second guess it. Someone that sees all that you are and loves you even more because of it.
True. Honest. Accepting. Unconditional. Just Pure Love. And I know some one will contest this with a “Just love yourself” quote- Yes, love yourself, of course love yourself- Most definitely- Know inside, at any given moment that you will and you are doing your best no matter what the outside says- but, we as humans, (most living species actually, from a cat to a horse to a plant on your shelf-) thrive with external, unconditional love. Don’t let the tough guy inside that has been hardened by perspective fool you.
We are ALL deserving of Unconditional Love. We ALL deserve to find that happiness that we know within our spirit exists. We wouldn’t desire it subconsciously, so badly if it didn’t- again- perspective. I wouldn’t change any second of my life knowing that simple word now. I believe to my core that everything happens for a reason even when it hurts or sucks really, really badly and doesn’t seem to make sense. We learn subconsciously from everything period- We choose to learn consciously from the world when we can look past our own perspectives and can see using another. That’s where unconditional love can be found. Like I said, It’s all around us.
We know it’s there.
We know it exists.
Whether we want to admit it or not, Unconditional Love (with dashes of time and splashes of effort) is the secret to True Happiness— From my perspective of course.
Thank you for taking the time read it.
Giving Thanks- I thank every single person that has ever cris crossed my life’s path with their own, for every single person has played a part of so many more stories that I know I will never experience but yet has still taught me.
I am thankful for every single experience, friendship, relationship, and lesson both positive and negative (even though I may not have been so thankful at the time) for they have taught me compassion and strength.
I am thankful for every taste, touch, smell and view I have ever experienced for they all have made me want to experience more. I am thankful for my inner light and my inner darkness for they have taught me the power of introspection.
From all of everything in my life- I know my demons, I know my angels and with that I can see glimpses of inside of others. I know I have power and I know I am weak- I know you have power and I know you are weak- We all flaunt our believed power effortlessly and happily. We all choose to hide our known weaknesses so carefully and ferociously though.
I know and you know. And for all of those things I am truly grateful.
Perspective. A friend taught me so much about that one word years before I was ready to really understand- Some of you will know exactly who I’m referring to and others will not have yet crossed his path and probably never will.
To that one person though, I am saying Thank You- We don’t speak as much anymore but just know that I think I finally get it and I’m not just saying that to change the subject, again, for the ten thousandth time.
I leave you with one question: What will ever get each of us to open the safe completely and remove that piece of blackness that hides that super far back, dark, scary corner that you are terrified to even look in yourself let alone show another?
Kateri L Banning-Skaarup
A simple Cinnamon Bear from Brodie St and FWFN If I could leave my children with one piece of knowledge that they will always remember, it would be that “We are all so much Stronger than we will ever have to know- believe that always.”