March 12, 2023 – Western and Northern Ontario Weather Outlook

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snow scupture

Thunder Bay – Weather – Weather alerts are still in effect this morning.

Thunder Bay

Hold onto your mittens folks, Thunder Bay is in for a snowy treat! We’re talking a local amount of 2 to 4 cm, so break out your rulers and start measuring those snowdrifts! The wind will be coming from the northeast at 20 km/h, gusting to 40, so hold onto your hats and scarves or they’ll be long gone.

Temperatures will be colder than your ex’s heart, with a high of minus 6 and a wind chill of minus 18 in the morning and minus 13 in the afternoon. I hope you’re bundled up like a mummy because you’re going to need it!

The UV index is a sad 1, which means you won’t get a tan today. But hey, you can still have fun making snow angels, right?

As for tonight, we’ll have periods of light snow ending near midnight, so don’t stay up too late. The wind will be coming from the north at 20 km/h, but don’t worry, it’ll become light in the evening. The low will be minus 14, and the wind chill will be minus 13 in the evening and a frigid minus 20 overnight. Better snuggle up with a hot chocolate and a warm blanket!

Fort Frances

Fort Frances weather! We’ve got some light snow coming in hot today, but don’t worry it’s only going to last until noon, then it’ll just be plain old cloudy with a 30 percent chance of flurries.

The wind is going to be coming from the northeast at 20 km/h, gusting to 40, so hold onto your hats, your toupees, and anything else that isn’t bolted down! Temperatures will be colder than your ex’s heart with a high of minus 5 and a wind chill of minus 17 in the morning and minus 12 in the afternoon.

The UV index is a sad 2, which means you’ll have to work extra hard if you want to get that sun-kissed look. Better break out the tanning lotion, folks!

Tonight, the skies will be clearing up around midnight, so get ready to see some stars! The wind will still be coming from the northeast at 20 km/h, but it’ll become light early in the evening, so you can finally take a break from holding onto your hats. The low will be minus 19, and the wind chill will be minus 10 in the evening and a bone-chilling minus 24 overnight. Better bundle up like a burrito, folks!

Dryden and Vermilion Bay

Greetings from the wonderful world of Dryden and Vermilion Bay weather! We’ve got some light snow coming in hot today, but it’s going to end just in time for you to catch happy hour at the local pub. We’re talking about 2 cm of the white stuff, so better start practicing your snowball-throwing skills!

The wind is going to be coming from the northeast at 20 km/h, gusting to 40, so hold onto your hats, your wigs, and anything else that could potentially fly away. Temperatures will be colder than a witch’s broomstick, with a high of minus 6 and a wind chill of minus 20 in the morning and minus 13 in the afternoon.

The UV index is a depressing 1, which means you won’t get a tan today, tomorrow or any day in the near future. Better stock up on some Vitamin D supplements, folks!

Tonight, the skies will be partially cloudy, so keep your eyes peeled for any shooting stars or UFOs. The wind will still be coming from the northeast at 20 km/h, but it’ll become light early in the evening, so you can finally take a break from holding onto your hats. The low will be minus 20, and the wind chill will be minus 13 in the evening and a freezing minus 26 overnight. Better snuggle up with your significant other, a furry pet or a hot water bottle. Stay warm, folks!

Kenora

Well, well, well, look who’s back in the game – it’s Kenora weather! We’ve got some flurries coming in the morning, but don’t worry, they’ll be gone faster than a slice of pizza at a kids’ birthday party. After that, it’s just going to be plain old cloudy with a 30 percent chance of flurries.

The wind is going to be coming from the northeast at 20 km/h, gusting to 40, so hold onto your hats, your scarves, and anything else that isn’t nailed down! Temperatures will be colder than a polar bear’s toenails with a high of minus 4 and a wind chill of minus 18 in the morning and minus 10 in the afternoon.

The UV index is a sad 2, which means you won’t be getting that summer glow anytime soon. Better get that fake tan spray ready, folks!

Tonight, the skies will be as clear as your skin after a 10-step skincare routine. The wind will still be coming from the northeast at 20 km/h, but it’ll become light early in the evening, so you can finally relax and let your hair down. The low will be minus 19, and the wind chill will be minus 12 in the evening and a frigid minus 25 overnight. Better grab a warm blanket and a cup of cocoa, folks!

Sachigo Lake

Hello, folks from Sachigo Lake, welcome to your daily dose of weather forecast with a dash of humour! Today’s forecast calls for a mix of sun and clouds, but don’t worry, the sun will come out and brighten your day around noon.

The wind will be up to 15 km/h, so hold onto your toupees, your wigs, and anything else that could be blown away! Temperatures will be colder than an ex’s heart, with a high of minus 10 and a wind chill of minus 25 in the morning and minus 13 in the afternoon.

The UV index is a measly 2, which means you won’t be getting a tan anytime soon. Better stick to the good ol’ fashioned tanning beds, folks!

Tonight, the skies will be as clear as your conscience after doing a good deed. The wind will still be up to 15 km/h, so hold onto your hats, your scarves, and your dignity! The low will be minus 23, and the wind chill will be minus 16 in the evening and a bone-chilling minus 31 overnight.

Better bundle up and stay indoors, folks, because there’s a high risk of frostbite! So, get that hot cocoa and snuggle up with your loved ones because it’s going to be a cold one tonight!

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