February 24, 2023 – Western and Northern Ontario Weather Outlook

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Weather - Winter Update

Thunder Bay – Weather – Overall, the weather in Northwestern Ontario is about as predictable as a hockey player’s playoff beard. So, grab your parka, your mittens, and your sense of humor, and get ready for whatever Mother Nature throws your way.

Thunder Bay

Welcome to the daily weather report! Today’s forecast calls for a beautiful day with plenty of sunshine, but don’t let that fool you. The wind will be whipping up to 15 km/h, making it feel like you’re living in the arctic tundra. With a high of minus 10 degrees Celsius, you might want to bring a few extra layers just in case.

Speaking of layers, make sure to bundle up because the wind chill will be reaching new lows of minus 33 in the morning and minus 13 in the afternoon. Yikes! We’re talking serious frostbite risk here, folks.

The UV index will be a measly 2, so don’t expect to work on your tan today. Unless you’re trying to get a frostbite tan, in which case, go for it!

Moving on to tonight’s forecast, things are looking a little more ominous. We’ve got increasing cloudiness, a 70 percent chance of light snow, and winds still reaching up to 15 km/h. Low temperatures will drop to minus 18 degrees Celsius, with a wind chill near minus 23. So, if you were thinking of going for a midnight stroll, maybe consider staying indoors and binge-watching your favourite show instead. Stay warm out there, folks!

Fort Frances

Hey there, weather warriors! Today’s forecast is as cold as my ex’s heart. We’ve got some sun, sure, but with wind speeds reaching up to 15 km/h, it’s going to feel like Jack and Rose on the Titanic. With a high of minus 13 degrees Celsius, you might want to channel your inner penguin and waddle your way to work today.

But wait, there’s more! The wind chill is going to be hitting us hard with minus 34 in the morning and minus 16 in the afternoon. That’s colder than my in-laws at Christmas dinner. So, wrap up warm and make sure to protect those extremities, or you might be left with frostbite that even a warm hug can’t cure.

The UV index is only 2, which is about as low as my dating standards, so don’t bother with the sunscreen today.

Moving on to tonight’s forecast, we’ve got some increasing cloudiness early on, but don’t worry, it’s not all bad news. There’s a 70 percent chance of light snow overnight, so you can finally live out your childhood dream of building a snowman that won’t melt in two seconds. But, with winds still reaching up to 15 km/h, you might want to make sure your snowman has a warm scarf and hat. Low temperatures will drop to minus 20 degrees Celsius, with a wind chill of minus 19 in the evening and minus 27 overnight. So, cozy up with some hot cocoa and a good book tonight, and remember, winter is coming!

Dryden and Vermilion Bay

Good morning, winter warriors! Today’s forecast is colder than your ex’s heart after you forgot their birthday. We’ve got some sunshine, but don’t let it fool you, the winds are blowing west at 20 km/h, which means it’s time to put on your best “winter is coming” outfit. But hey, there’s good news! The wind is supposed to lighten up around noon, so you can finally stop holding onto your hat like it’s a lifeline.

With a high of minus 13 degrees Celsius, it’s going to feel like you’re living in the Upside Down. The wind chill is no joke, folks, with minus 33 in the morning and minus 18 in the afternoon. So, make sure to bundle up like a burrito and don’t forget your gloves, or you might end up with frostbite that even a warm hug can’t cure.

The UV index is only 2, which is about as low as my expectations for 2021, so don’t bother with the sunscreen.

Now, let’s move on to tonight’s forecast. We’ve got some increasing cloudiness, which means it’s time to cozy up with a warm blanket and a hot cup of cocoa. There’s a 30 percent chance of flurries changing to a 70 percent chance of light snow near midnight, so get your snow shovels ready, folks! The wind will be up to 15 km/h, with low temperatures dropping to minus 22 degrees Celsius. The wind chill will be minus 19 in the evening and minus 26 overnight, so make sure to snuggle up with your loved ones, or your pet rock, if that’s your thing. Stay warm out there, folks, and remember, winter is here to stay!

Kenora

Hello, fellow ice cubes! Today’s forecast is as chilly as your ex’s attitude after you ate the last slice of pizza. We’ve got some sun later today, but don’t let it fool you, the wind is up to 15 km/h, which means it’s time to put on your warmest winter coat and your thickest socks. With a high of minus 14 degrees Celsius, it’s going to feel like you’re walking on the surface of the moon. The wind chill is going to be hitting us hard with minus 32 in the morning and minus 17 in the afternoon, so make sure to bundle up like a polar bear and protect those cheeks, or you might be left with frostbite that even a warm hug can’t cure.

The UV index is only 2, which is about as low as my chances of winning the lottery, so don’t even bother with the sunscreen.

Now, let’s move on to tonight’s forecast. We’ve got some mainly cloudy skies, which means it’s time to get your cozy blankets and your favorite movies ready. There’s a 60 percent chance of light snow late in the evening and overnight, so you might want to get your sleds out and hit the hills. The wind will be up to 15 km/h, with low temperatures dropping to minus 23 degrees Celsius. The wind chill will be minus 20 in the evening and minus 30 overnight, so make sure to snuggle up with your loved ones, or your favorite stuffed animal, if that’s your thing.

Stay warm out there, folks, and remember, winter is here to stay! So, put on your best snow boots and your warmest hat, and embrace the cold like a true Canadian!

Wasaho Cree Nation

Hold onto your toques and mittens, folks, because today’s weather is about to hit us like a snowball to the face! We’ve got some mainly sunny skies, but don’t let that fool you, the wind is west at 30 km/h gusting to 50, which means you might as well be walking through a blizzard. With a high of minus 24 degrees Celsius, it’s going to feel like you’ve landed on the planet Hoth. The wind chill is going to be colder than your ex’s heart, hitting us with a frigid minus 48 in the morning and a slightly less icy minus 36 in the afternoon. That’s frostbite in minutes, my friends, so make sure to cover every inch of skin like you’re about to rob a bank.

The UV index is only 1, which is about as low as your chances of getting a date with that hottie from work, so don’t even think about getting a tan.

Now, let’s move on to tonight’s forecast. We’ve got a few clouds, but the wind is still west at 20 km/h gusting to 40. With low temperatures dropping to minus 26 degrees Celsius, it’s going to be colder than your ex’s stare. The wind chill will be minus 40 in the evening and minus 33 overnight, so make sure to cuddle up with your significant other or your pet, or both, if you’re feeling lonely.

Stay warm out there, folks, and remember, if you’re feeling cold, just think of your ex’s heart, and suddenly, the cold won’t feel so bad after all!

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