More than half of marriages in the United States end with a divorce. While many people consider it a bad thing, there is a good side to it. People in this country are strong enough to make tough decisions when required instead of suffering their entire life. You should do everything you can to save a marriage, but if it’s not meant to be, what can we do about it. Remember that we always try to blame the other person in a relationship. You should know that in most divorce cases, both sides were at fault even if it initiated from one side. Try to identify if it’s your fault or the partner’s and follow the tips discussed in this article to lead a happy life.
Try to Discuss the Problem
If it feels like out of your hands, you shouldn’t give up easily. Tough times come in everyone’s life, but they don’t always last. You have to make sure that it isn’t a temporary issue. The best way to resolve an issue is by discussion. Sit down with your partner and share everything you have to say and ask to share what they think is wrong in this relationship. According to couple counselors, people start to fight during the discussion. You have to stay calm and keep a low voice even if the other one gets angry.
You have to calmly discuss everything that is wrong to find the solution together. Remember that this discussion is to save your relationship and that the other is someone you love no matter how many fights you had. Start by discussing all the good times you had together and keep them in mind. Don’t stop if your first try fails. Organize another session and try again until you find a solution. However, there might come a time when there is no going back. Below I’ve discussed how to identify that your relationship has run its course and that there is no other way now.
How to Know there is No Future?
Several signs that show that your relationship is going in the wrong direction. If you can change them in time, you can save the relationship. Once the ship has sailed, there is nothing you can do about it. Here are a few signs that might remain the same even after discussion.
You are Always Fighting
A fight between the couple once in a while is no big deal. Every couple fights at least once in their life. Once you get out of a bad fight, your relationship either gets stronger than ever, or you keep things in your heart like a poison. If you were always fighting and you sat down to solve the issue but it ended in a quarrel, it goes to show that you need to take some serious actions. If after multiple discussions, you are still fighting, think about splitting or taking a break before things get worse. Another option is to compromise your entire life which is not recommended.
Partner Cheated on You
Some people believe that once a cheater is always a cheater no matter what. That notion is not entirely correct. We make mistakes and we should pay for them. If a person admits his mistake, he can be trusted again. However, if you caught your partner cheating, that’s another story. Such a person might try to do it again. You should discuss the matter with your partner if there something missing in your relationship which he/she was searching out of this relationship.
Try to bring that thing back to the relationship if that’s what it takes. Many people start cheating when there isn’t enough physical intimacy between you both. Though cheating shouldn’t be an answer, remember that humans have need. See if by fulfilling that requirement you may be able to save the relationship; otherwise, your relation is most likely doomed once a person finds love somewhere else.
There is No Peace of Mind
You might feel like your house isn’t home anymore. You should be able to feel relaxed and loved at your house. If that’s not the case, that is not your home anymore. Many people start spending time outside the house with friends or other relationships when they don’t feel comfortable at home. Try to find the issue that is making your peace go away. If it’s your partner, discuss it with him/ her. Share the issues and find their solutions. If you couldn’t find a solution and there is still no peace of mind, then consider changing your home.
You Hide Your Real Personality
If you can’t be your true self with your husband or wife, you are not the right kind of spouse for each other. Your partner should be your best friend even if that’s not always the case. Many people act like another person when they are with a partner. If this is the case with you, you are likely to get divorced sooner or later when your real personality will reveal. You should show that the real side of you before the other finds it himself.
Don’t suddenly change as it could come as a shock. Try changing one little thing at a time. Show your interests and the things you like See if you get the partner’s approval. There is a possibility that your partner will love your new side more than before. However, if the partner doesn’t accept you then you may need to find another partner.
Did Your Partner Abuse You?
One just can’t go back from a case of domestic violence. If your partner has ever abused you in any way, he/she doesn’t deserve you nor should you allow them to be with you. Love yourself and think about your future. If your partner has been doing any of the following, it counts as violence. If you want to take action against it, you can contact Orange County domestic violence attorney for help.
1. Physical Abuse:
If there was grabbing, spitting, throwing objects, strangling, slapping, punching, kicking, destroying possessions, or anything else of the sort, it counts as physical abuse which is the worst kind of abuse.
2. Emotional Abuse
Name-calling, manipulating children, putting a negative image of you in front of others, yelling, cheating, and anything else done to disturb you is emotional abuse and legally punishable. If you are facing any such issue, you should know that you have the support of the law.
3. Sexual Abuse
There have been cases of sexual abuse even in married couples. Such acts are usually committed by men who had sex with their wife against her will. Rape charges are filed against the abuser if such an issue is proven.
Constantly checking up, embarrassing your partner in public, making unwanted visits to his/her office, or spying on them is considered harassment and domestic violence if done by a spouse.
You Want to Be with Someone Else
Your partner isn’t necessarily always wrong. It has happened many times when people were unable to see their mistakes in the relationship while pointing fingers at the other. Think calmly if you are at fault, and, if you are, what’s the reason behind it. There is a possibility there your heart might lie somewhere else. If you want to be with someone else and not your current spouse, you should seriously consider moving instead of making your and your partner’s life miserable.
Why Go for a Divorce?
We don’t support divorce in any way. We believe that you should do your best to save your relationship even if small sacrifices are required. However, there come points in life where splitting is the best thing you can do for yourself, partner, and family. If you are in a toxic relationship, getting out of it will bring many perks with it.
Find the Right Soulmate for Yourself
If your current spouse isn’t right for you, it doesn’t mean no one else is. There is a soulmate out there for you; you just need to find him/her. Leaving a toxic relationship will give you and your partner an opportunity to be with someone where you belong.
You’ll Get Peace of Mind
People in bad relationships forget the real meaning of peace. You’ll feel free and light after so much time of tension and worries. A big weight will be lifted off your shoulders and you will finally experience what happiness is.
You Can Follow Your Dreams
Divorce gives you a responsibility-free life where you only have to think about yourself. This is a great opportunity to rediscover yourself. Find where you want to go and what you want to do. You can finally follow your incomplete dreams.
Part on Good Terms
A toxic relationship will only get worse with time if not settled on time. You should know after a discussion if it’ll settle with divorce or by clearing misunderstandings (if there are any). Separating on time will save you from many fights and court cases. If you push yourself to the extent, you’ll both part ways on bad terms and do your best to hurt each other.