As soon as we start to understand the world, we start thinking about finding the perfect soulmate. Every kid and adult is looking for a soulmate with whom she can truly connect to. Unfortunately, barely any of us are able to make this dream come true. We start dating in our early teens thinking this one might just be the one. We go from person to person wasting our time, energy, and love. Many of us think that we have found the right guy and, of course, there is nothing else to do but to get married.
It is believed that marriage is an eternal bond between two souls who are made for each other. As you grow up, you realize all that was nothing more than a fairy tale. This is exactly why more than half of marriages in the United States end with a divorce. That divorce also comes after many years of suffering and fights. We do our best to find the right person before marriage. It’s after we fall in love and believe in it that we make the decision of getting married.
This misunderstanding happens when we start to create an image of the person in our mind according to our expectations and perception. When we find that person isn’t like we thought he was, that’s where things start to go in the wrong direction. I studied the most common reasons why people separated from their partners. It could save us a lot of pain if we can understand and identify those issues before getting attached to someone. When you are in a relationship and see these issues in your partner, then you should know that he’s not the right person for you. You might be able to tolerate them today, but you can’t compromise your entire life.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, intimate partner violence includes victimization by current and former spouses or current and former dating partners. Violence can include physical, sexual, emotional, and economic abuse, according to the Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women.
There is a Lack of Understanding
Everything goes smoothly at the beginning of a relationship. We are always happy to see each other and have a great time in each other’s company. We feel like we have the perfect bond and we fully understand each other. This illusion is very common in every new relationship because we decide to overlook each other’s disagreements and act exactly like the person wants us to. Don’t be too quick to think that you two are hitting it off. Spend some time and see if you still get along. If you actually have a very good understanding then it’s a good thing. But if you feel there is a communication gap even after spending a lot of time together, then you should consider moving on with life.
He Gets Angry Easily
In many cultures, the one that has the best control of himself is considered the strongest man. If he gets furious over little things, some people wouldn’t call him a real man. People who don’t have control over their temper can’t be trusted. What’s the guarantee that one day he won’t start getting angry at you and say or do things that would destroy your relationship? These bad boy things might sound cool to some girls, but you can’t spend life with such a person. These characteristics are quite difficult to hide when you start spending time together. See the things that make him angry and how he controls himself. There is no need to waste your time and love over someone who will forget it all in a moment of anger.
He Abused You
If your partner has ever abused or harassed you in any way, you shouldn’t take it lightly. No matter how old your relationship is, domestic abuse just shouldn’t be tolerated. If he’s hurt you once, he’s going to do it again no matter how sorry he is. Domestic abuse doesn’t just mean physically hitting a person. It also includes emotional abuse, forced sex, and invasion of privacy. If he’s ever bad-mouthed you or embarrassed you in public, it is also counted as domestic violence.
Living with an abusive partner can scar you for life. You shouldn’t just leave him but take legal actions against him to make sure he doesn’t do this to any other girl. It is recommended to contact Negin Yamini, a Los Angeles domestic violence lawyer, for consultation. She does this job to help women in need and doesn’t charge any fee at all for consultation. She will educate you all about your rights and how you can make a difference.
You Are Always Arguing
Arguments and ego can destroy a happy and stable relationship. Many people find themselves always arguing before they broke up. Each argument includes pointing at each other’s weaknesses and sensitives points. No one wins in such a fight but both end up hurt and hurting each other. A healthy discussion is good for relationships, but arguments started to win a point do no good to anyone.
An occasional fight is very common among partners, and they actually come out stronger than before. However, if you are in conflict most of the time then it’s definitely not a good sign. Try to dig out the reason behind these fights. Try to keep an open mind to your mistakes too. There is a possibility that you might be causing issues over little things. It’s better to get to the root of the problem and solve it as soon as possible before it gets out of hand.
You Don’t Love Him
There is a difference in loving someone and liking someone. We often confuse them both. There is a possibility the guy you are in a relationship with is a very nice guy and you like him. Everyone likes nice guys, but don’t confuse it with love. You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself if you don’t love him. It isn’t in our control. The sooner you realize what your heart wants, the better it is for you. Don’t be afraid to break his heart. It’s a difficult step to take which is best for both of you. This case isn’t always exactly like this. Maybe you don’t love him because he isn’t loveable. Whatever the case, you should follow your heart for your own future and shouldn’t let the pressure get you into something that you don’t want.
He’s a Pervert
There is no cure to perversion. By pervert, I don’t mean the different demands in bed – that’s totally normal. I mean the person who keeps an eye on all women or men. Perverts are never satisfied. They are always looking for something else and something more. Such men can’t be loyal to anyone. They make everyone around them uncomfortable. Take self-respect and loyalty out of a man, and most people wouldn’t accept him as a man. If you ever see any such habit in your partner, you shouldn’t trust him with anything. It’s normal for a man to be attracted to other women/men, but perversion is taking it to the next level. They are usually very good at hiding their thoughts, so it might take some time before you realize what you have got yourself into.
He Tries Control You
A man who tries to control everything will never let you be free. He will bind you with only his life and make you forget that you’re a human too. You deserve to dream and be free. A man who tells you what to do and what not do will keep doing this his entire life. You may be able to compromise once or twice, but you can’t do that your whole life. Also, think about the kind of father he will become. If he’s made your life small, he’ll do that your kids too. Such narrow-minded toxic personalities shouldn’t become a part of your life until they change themselves. And you shouldn’t stick around and wait to see if he’s capable of change or not.
You Also Like Someone Else
Most of the issues we’ve discussed pointed to something that could be wrong with your partner. You should also look at yourself with the same critical eye to see if you might be a person at fault here. Change your bad habits that could hurt your loved ones. There might come a time when you feel that your heart belongs to someone else. There might be another guy or girl that has caught your attention. One can’t be blamed to love someone. If you like someone other than your partner, it’s totally normal. Just make sure that it’s not a temporary thing and that it could be something serious before you make any decision for your current relationship.
You wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone else if you really liked your partner. This goes to show that you are still confused and looking for something that you haven’t found yet. Instead of suppressing these feelings, accept them and see what future holds for you. It is recommended to discuss the matter with your partner to find the right solution. The final decision should always be yours even if you’ve taken him into your trust.